I was walking down a busy New York City street the other day, when I came upon an agitated woman who was raising a ruckus about Jesus. She was trying to get the attention of the passersby in order to inform them that this so-called, “messiah”, was ready to return to Earth to show his love for everyone by sending all of the non-believers and sinners to hell.
As I continued on my journey, I asked myself a perplexing question, which was - How out of touch with reality, or how big of a moron do you have to be, to believe this sort of crap?
I then abandoned my world of reality and pretended that the Jesus story was true. I began asking some serious questions: Do you pray to baby Jesus or the adult version? Was Jesus gay? Was he black or white? Was his mother Mary really a virgin or is that just the story she’s sticking with? Does Jesus pray? If he does, who does he pray to, Joe Pesche? The Bible tells us that Jesus was a carpenter; but how much did he charge for bookshelves? Crucifixion hurts; maybe he learned his lesson the first time - is that why he hasn’t returned yet?
I then began to think about the sacrifice that he and his daddy made. He sacrificed his life in order to save us, but then he rose from the dead. What kind of a sacrifice is that? What’s the harm in dying if you’re not going to stay dead for long? I would do that just for kicks; it would make for interesting dinner conversation.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life... bla, bla, bla, yadda, yadda, yadda”…etc. If that’s the best this father and son duo can come up with then I feel sorry for them. That’s no sacrifice; it sounds more like a Vegas magic act. Penn and Teller do it all the time. With these two clownish amateurs as competition, (JC and pops, not Penn and Teller), it’s no wonder that Allah had no problem taking down the twin towers on 9/11.
Back to reality – For all those people waiting for Jesus to return I have a little advice: Use your brains – what little you seem to have left anyway. Do some research, some critical thinking. It’s all mythology and superstitious nonsense and not even original mythology and nonsense at that, it was plagiarized from other myths and legends. Look it up here, here, here and here. And leave me the hell alone when I’m walking down the street!
The Agitated Atheist
As I continued on my journey, I asked myself a perplexing question, which was - How out of touch with reality, or how big of a moron do you have to be, to believe this sort of crap?
I then abandoned my world of reality and pretended that the Jesus story was true. I began asking some serious questions: Do you pray to baby Jesus or the adult version? Was Jesus gay? Was he black or white? Was his mother Mary really a virgin or is that just the story she’s sticking with? Does Jesus pray? If he does, who does he pray to, Joe Pesche? The Bible tells us that Jesus was a carpenter; but how much did he charge for bookshelves? Crucifixion hurts; maybe he learned his lesson the first time - is that why he hasn’t returned yet?
I then began to think about the sacrifice that he and his daddy made. He sacrificed his life in order to save us, but then he rose from the dead. What kind of a sacrifice is that? What’s the harm in dying if you’re not going to stay dead for long? I would do that just for kicks; it would make for interesting dinner conversation.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life... bla, bla, bla, yadda, yadda, yadda”…etc. If that’s the best this father and son duo can come up with then I feel sorry for them. That’s no sacrifice; it sounds more like a Vegas magic act. Penn and Teller do it all the time. With these two clownish amateurs as competition, (JC and pops, not Penn and Teller), it’s no wonder that Allah had no problem taking down the twin towers on 9/11.
Back to reality – For all those people waiting for Jesus to return I have a little advice: Use your brains – what little you seem to have left anyway. Do some research, some critical thinking. It’s all mythology and superstitious nonsense and not even original mythology and nonsense at that, it was plagiarized from other myths and legends. Look it up here, here, here and here. And leave me the hell alone when I’m walking down the street!
The Agitated Atheist
